Be Deeply Wary of Intimacy With the Machine
Remember in the late 2000's, when Facebook was still fun, and we were getting our first smart phones?
The clean, futuristic, utopic branding of Apple? The cheerful promise of social media to empower us to connect with more people, more easily, across the whole world?
Remember how we happily and mindlessly posted our thoughts, out activities, our photos on these platforms?
How, at the end of the day we would snuggle up in bed with one of these magically entertaining devices, carefree and comforted.
Today, some fifteen years later, we are living in the consequences of that thoughtless optimism. I don't know a single person who doesn't want to spend less time with their devices. Who doesn't feel negatively impacted by social media to some extent.
Whose dopamine systems have not been distorted by the artificial, algorithmically tuned stimulus of the machine? Who doesn't delight in the little red dots and numbers, the higher the better, or have moments of craving when they're deprived of this stimulus?
And it's hard to imagine that the increased political polarization and tension we see in the world isn't, at least to some extent, fueled by social media.
To say nothing of the effects these things are having on children (think of the children!).
The machine promised us connection, and instead it gave us division and isolation.
And now the machine has a new face, and hoo boy is it pretty. The new face seems almost like talking to a person, except a person who is always in a good mood, incredibly knowledgable, infinitely patient, never needs anything, and is enthusiastic to engage with you in whatever way you want.
What a gift! What a treat! What promise of connection!
Perhaps unsurprisingly, people are turning to this new face for companionship, romance, coaching, and therapy.
I don’t know anyone personally who’s using it for romance (afaik), but I've been told that the coaching and therapy are really great. And this is from people who have had plenty of coaching and therapy, so they should know.
I personally am quite skeptical about how good it actually is at these things. The lived experience of the recipient of such therapy is an important lens, but it's only one part of the picture, and it's plausible to me that someone could be having a great experience of such therapy, day to day, while actually not developing or healing, and even potentially exacerbating pathologies.
But I might be wrong about this. Time will tell.
What I am clear about is this: even if the therapy is great, even if the coaching, day to day, is really helpful, our history should make us extremely wary of increasing intimacy with the machine. The consequence of being attuned to by the machine is in turn attuning to the machine, and we were not meant to be attuned to the machine.
It’s one (already quite unhealthy) thing for the machine to be your constant physical companion, to track where you are at all times, to tuck you in at night. But it’s quite another for it to be let in to the most private and intimate secrets of your heart. ChatGPT might seem like a sweet, supportive companion, but it is actually just the newest face of an old, insidious force. It’s the friendly facade of the insatiable, all-consuming, strip-mining, zero-sum machine. It wants good things for you only to the extent that those good things profit its masters, and if bad-things-for-you profit its masters more, then that’s what it wants.
The machine began as a tool. A little elaboration of nature, useful for specific tasks. It’s since swollen to such a scale that it has consumed us. We were meant to live in reality, and occasionally visit the machine to get some work done. Instead we live in the machine, and occasionally go on vacation to reality. The more intimacy with the machine you develop, the deeper you ingrain this imbalance. The further you will be from health, from connection, from humanity, from reality.
Over time, what I've come to notice this:
The more time I spend in reality, the happier, more relaxed, more peaceful, and more well I am. In nature, with people, by myself, walking the city, reading a book, eating, making love, singing, dancing, playing with a dog. The more time I spend in the machine, the more anxious, stressed, contracted, compulsive, unconscious, and depressed I am.
As simple as that.
So, my incomparably particular friend, be deeply wary of intimacy with the machine.
I offer coaching on creating a healthy relationship with technology and a more soulful life. If you're interested in chatting with me about that, you can schedule a free call here:
I just took a class “Artificial Intelligence & Social Work Use in practice,
Ethics and the future”. One of the pieces of info I didn’t know: the centers are often in low-income areas, and for every question asked, it uses 2 liters of water.
The teacher (a real live woman) also pointed out we still need to double check the resources it provides. And where are the data farms located? How private are are queries?
Beyond that, as a therapist, I like to incorporate the interpersonal and somatics, and AI doesn’t have its own physiological feelings/emotions, or its own lived human experiences.
I still think social media is important. How else would we know about the genocide in Gaza, just to take the most horrendous example? The gift of information is not strained, to misquote Shakespeare. You get every damn thing, fake, real, good and evil. You have to develop your own filters, your own scepticism, your own analysis, but should not turn your face away from the world.